What did you think of the author's family, especially that scene when they're coming to see him on Father's Day?
"Until my stroke, we had felt no need to fit this made-up holiday into our emotional calendar. But today we spend the whole of the symbolic day together, affirming that even a rough sketch, a shadow, a tiny fragment of a dad is still a dad."
I thought it was good that they decided not to sugarcoat reality, or even to keep him away from seeing his kids. Still, I can imagine how difficult it must be to see a loved one in that condition. I was very torn, I confess.
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Great question, Shanxi. I was a bit confused about his family situation, so I looked him up and found a link to an article complaining that the film version of his story did not match the one in his book/real life. Why do filmmakers take liberties with"true stories"?!
ReplyDeleteThe relevant paragraphs from the article :
But the biggest difference between Bauby's book and the film is the story of the women in his life. The movie shows Bauby, known to his friends as Jean-Do, as an invalid babe magnet and the women surrounding him as vying for his attention. Bauby doesn't write about this or anything like it in his book, although friends describe him as having been very charming with a great sense of humor -- quick and sometimes biting. He was a bon vivant and engaging. One friend portrayed him as having power in his silence once he became ill.
The major difference between book and film is that the mother of Bauby's children -- this is how he refers to her in the film as he points out that they were never married -- pays him saintly visits day after day, despite the fact he doesn't love her, and the girlfriend he is in love with never shows up at the hospital at all. In the most devastating scene of the movie, Bauby's girlfriend tells him on the phone that she can't come visit him because she cannot bear to see him like that. He painfully spells out his response to the mother of his children so that she can interpret it to his girlfriend. Bauby's touching reply is that each day he waits for her. At that point, his wounded former partner slams the phone down, and the audience withers with the pain of her rejection.
In real life, this scene never happened. His girlfriend, Florence, was at the hospital day after day spending time with him. (De la Rochefoucauld was at that point his ex.) In the book, de la Rochefoucauld is only mentioned in one bittersweet chapter in which she brings the children to the hospital to celebrate Father's Day for the first time, and they experience a wonderful day on the beach together.
But that scene did stand out to me. It was touching, as you say, how nothing was sugarcoated. I also thought it was interesting that he noted how his family had no need for "made-up holidays," but that the holiday acquired meaning (substance) after the tragedy. It reminded me of how people can be dismissive of religion/spirituality but then find some comfort in it when something personally devastating happens. We are a family after all, like others. We now see the original importance of this holiday that has become trite and commercial and cliche. We are part of the human mystery after all, like others.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I had been a little confused about the family situation, too. I'm glad to know the bit about his girlfriend refusing to see him wasn't true. I found it interesting that he didn't write more about his loved ones. I can imagine some people in that circumstance really gushing about their children and partner. It made what he did write about them seem all the more poignant.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine it would be hard to see your dad like that. But on the other hand, I think sometimes things like that are easier for children, who can often accept differences better than adults. It is touching, too, how they found new meaning in the previously dismissed holiday. Good for them for acknowledging that he would always be a dad, regardless of his condition.
I'm 100 percent with you, Erin.
ReplyDeletekc, thanks for sharing that article from Salon. I read it, and now I don't want to see the movie! (That's my biggest beef with Disney movies like "Pocahontas." Why bother when history didn't follow the movie script? :)
About the human mystery - I think you're on to something profound. Interesting how Jean-Dominique says the most serious letters are from those "I had known only superficially. Their small talk had masked hidden depths. Had I been blind and deaf, or does it take the harsh light of disaster to show a person's true nature?"